


Waters long run

by Madam_Violet



Series: The Vault Chronicles [18]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Academy Era, Childhood Trauma, Dark, Gen, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 21:55:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13820214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madam_Violet/pseuds/Madam_Violet
Summary: After a rather disturbing incident involving Missy, Bill starts to wonder about the Doctor's darkest secrets.





	Waters long run

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TorchWoodTimeLord](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TorchWoodTimeLord/gifts).



> Prompt by TorchwoodTimeLord.  
> Sorry for the long delay ^^.

Off course, Bill would always love and admire the Doctor, but what she learned on this day had changed a lot of things, even if she pretended it didn,'t. The Time Lord would never have told her this story if this tiny incident never occurred, and sometimes, Bill wished she had stayed at home this unfortunate Saturday.  
She hadn't been exactly thrilled at the idea of bringing Missy with them. She wasn't feeling comfortable with the Time Lady and her criminal record. It was an ethic problem that went further the basic security issues. Off course, she wouldn't be allowed out the TARDIS, but Bill wasn't stupid, she knew what the Doctor had in mind next. The incident, however, hadn't exactly been Missy's fault. The strange little woman had been more a victim of the events.  
Bill and Nardole were waiting for the Doctor to finish whatever he had to do relaxing in the library. To their discomfort, Missy was there too, taking a well-deserved break after the maintenance work the Doctor had given her. The girl had mainly been avoiding the creepy pair of icy blue eyes. The Cyborg, on the other side, had constantly kept eye contact with the prisoner, occasionally talking to her. He might be absolutely scared of her, he still managed to have some sort of natural authority that forced Bill's respect. Missy was teasing him a lot, but she still remained at her place and somewhat sought his attention. A thing she never did with Bill, as if the girl didn't even exist in her eyes. It was probably due to the fact she didn't like humans and was a bit jealous of the girl taking her Doctor away from her. At this moment, she was dozing lazily on a large sofa, near the swimming pool. Why putting a swimming pool in a library, Bill would never understand. But she was certain now it had been a dreadful stupid idea.  
Nardole was on his way with a pair of cups when the TARDIS jolted, sending Bill on the floor covered by a several rows of books, Nardole's cups spilling over him, and most importantly, Missy in the pool. The Time Lady merely had the time to scream, but the noises of water caught Nardole's attention. The little man sent a squeaky scream and Bill ran to him. Bill's heart missed a beat when she noticed Missy thrashing in the middle of the pool.  
"I can't swim" Nardole cried, "Too much metal bits."  
Bill nodded and dived in the pool with all her clothes on. She wasn't an expert swimmer either and her hoodie and jeans didn't help. She felt a pang of fear when she approached the struggling woman. If she kept kicking and jolting like this, Bill would never be able to drag her safely to the edge.  
"Calm down, please" she pleaded.  
But obviously Missy couldn't hear. Her moves were more and more erratic and she would soon lose consciousness. It was lucky she was a Time Lord, a human would have already drowned. Bill swam closer and grabbed the woman's hand. As soon as she felt a contact, Missy noticed the human and managed to take a grip around her shoulders. With Missy clinging to her like a koala, Bill started to panic.  
"Nardole, do something !" she cried angrily.  
The cyborg had found some sort of rod and handed it in the girl's direction. Catching it with one hand, she managed to swim to the edge. Climbing to the rim, she dragged Missy out of the water. But even on the solid floor, the terrified woman kept clinging to the girl. Her eyes were shut close and she was grasping air in a worrying way. She would probably start to hyperventilate and her whole body was rigid and shaking.  
"I'm calling the Doctor" Nardole said as he turned to the exit.  
"Wait ! Don't leave me alone with..."  
Bill had no idea what to do now and she certainly didn't want to die strangled by a small but deadly Time Lady.  
"Oh, okay."  
Nardole took a step closer and poked Missy's shoulder. The Time Lady opened her eyes and looked around, realising she was out of the pool.  
"Come over here" Nardole said with a gentle, almost coaxing tone.  
Missy looked at Bill, then at Nardole in dismay. Slowly releasing her grip, she let the little man catch her and take her away. However, Bill didn't look back and went for the Doctor.

The Time Lord was in the control room. He lifted his eyes when he heard the steps and frowned.  
"Why did you swim with your clothes on ?"  
"You haven't felt it ?" Bill asked with a shrug. "It's the chaos in the library and Missy felt in the pool. Apparently she can't swim."  
The Doctor straightened.  
"Is she alright ?"  
"I'm alive too, thanks !" Bill grumbled.  
But the Doctor was already running to the library, Bill on his tracks.

When they arrived, Nardole had managed to take Missy to the fireplace. The Time Lady was sitting in a plush armchair, a blanket over her shoulders. Her coat was hanging next to the fire and she had a steaming cup in the hands. However, she was looking in front of herself with empty eyes and stayed perfectly still.  
"Look, here he is" Nardole said with a kind voice.  
Missy didn't react and kept staring at the empty seat facing her. Bill shivered, feeling something was very wrong with the Time Lady. She had seen her laugh like a little girl at the most inappropriate things, she had seen her pout and make a scene to get what she wanted. She even had heard her cry, a few times, it had felt quite real and had made the girl uncomfortable. But there was always something dramatic in Missy's emotions.  
In the library, Bill could say with an absolute certitude Missy wasn't putting on a show. Her pure terror irradiated like cold from an open fridge and the girl could almost feel her bare mind powerless and exposed. It was probably the side effect of a great telepathic power.  
The Doctor sat by her sides and took her in a protective embrace. She didn't reject him, but she didn't lean in his touch, as she always did when he merely took her hand. She stayed still, as if she wasn't acknowledging his presence. Seeing she wasn't reacting, he kneeled in front of her and took her small hands in his. Tracing soft circles on her wrists, he stared whispering things in a strange and unknown language. His voice was deep and kind of beautiful, the Scottish accent he had taken on Earth mixed with what Bill guessed being a singing intonation proper to a certain social rank amongst Time Lords. It was funny how an accent was giving a sense to the discourse. From the changing, almost colourful way he pronounced the long words, she could guess it wasn't the official, posh language of the Parliament, or whatever institution exists on their home planet. It was the tune of the people, the ordinary, little people. Bill could guess it was some sort of secret language between them, the home town brogue teachers try so hard to take off the kids mouth. Probably the reassuring voice of a nurse, or a motherly domestic taking the master's kids with her to the garden or in the kitchen.  
"The TARDIS isn't translating, why ?" Bill whispered to Nardole.  
"TARDISes don't translate any form of Gallifreyan. Why translating the native language of its owner ?"  
"Seems legit."  
Missy was looking at the Doctor now. She nodded solemnly and got up on her feet, letting the soaked blanket on the armchair. The Doctor kissed her forehead and told her to wait a few seconds. Some things didn't need any translation.  
"We're going back to the Vault" the Doctor said. "She needs to take a warm shower, put dry clothes and have a rest."  
"I guess I can go back home" Bill answered.  
"Nah, just wait here with Nardole. I'm coming back as soon as she falls asleep."

Bill was drinking her third cup of tea, a strange alien science-fiction book in her hands when she heard the Doctor's voice. She turned around lazily and caught a glimpse of the Time Lord having a conversation with Nardole. She joined them, still curious about the incident.  
"How is she ?" she asked casually.  
"She's alright. I've abandoned the idea of making her have a shower for the moment. Her hair is going to be really mad and sticky with all this chlorine but it's not the most important."  
"Why did you take her back to the Vault ? You have spare rooms in the TARDIS."  
The Doctor shrugged.  
"She'd just had a big fright, she'd be better in her bed. She thinks the TARDIS tried to drown her on purpose. It's a possibility, but I doubt about it. The TARDIS knows she's doing her best and she's quite welcoming."  
"In 70 years I've never seen her in such a state" Nardole intervened. "Is there a reason why she's so afraid of water ?"  
The Doctor lowered his eyes and Bill caught something darkening in his eyes.  
"She probably drowned in a previous body, or something like that."  
He tried to look as detached as he could, probably overplaying it since Bill guessed he had more on his mind. He seemed to know exactly what happened to her, and somewhat didn't feel proud at all. Fighting against her natural curiosity, she swallowed her questions back and kept the joyful spirit of the team. Nardole, however, seemed a little worried too.  
"Sir, you should not have left her alone" he said in a reproachful voice.  
"It's okay, we have a time machine, remember. And to be sure she doesn't have another panic attack I gave her a patch to sleep. She should have a dreamless rest for a few hours."  
The cyborg kept his frown most of their adventure anyway. It had been a surprisingly peaceful day, those days also happened sometimes. They visited a futuristic alien city somewhere in the deep past or deep future, Bill couldn't say. Nothing remotely different from Earth, 21st century, lots of tourists, bored tour guides with shining umbrellas and lots of souvenir booths. The Doctor insisted on the fact he simply wanted to have innocent fun involving no monster of the week. Bill wondered at what point of her life she started taking a trip across space and time as an ordinary Saturday afternoon.  
Nardole, however, didn't enjoy himself and kept brooding all along.  
"Is it about Missy ?" Bill finally asked when they were alone. "According to the Doctor she's asleep, she won't even know we're gone."  
"That's not the problem. We could get stranded or miscalculate our trip back. He takes his oath too lightly. I should have stay with her, but he didn't let me. Why, Doctor, why ?"  
"Perhaps he thinks you worry too much. She almost died, it's normal she was a bit shaken. I guess she'll feel better when she wakes up."  
"Bill, we're talking about a woman who died dozens of times. She always has a plan ahead, it's not a stupid domestic accident that will scare her. I'm sure the Doctor is hiding us something and I don't like it at all."  
"Maybe you're just worrying for Missy" Bill suggested with a shrug. "I know she's a murderer and an actual monster, but you've been her warden for what, seventy years ? I guess you have time to get attached."  
Nardole didn't answer to that and joined the Doctor by the ice cream booth. Bill had to admit she was a bit worried. Not really for Missy, the Time Lady was safe and sound and probably tucked in a comfortable bed right now. It was more the idea of the Doctor hiding something dark and shameful. She decided to question him back in Bristol.

"What do you want to know ?" he asked grumpily.  
"I think it would be better if you told me what's on your heart, Doctor. We all have done things we're not proud of."  
He let out a mirthless laugh.  
"What have you done in such a short life ? Have you been in wars ? Have you killed thousands of innocent civilians, children and women for most of them ?"  
"Off course not" Bill muttered. "But I feel like you have another secret, something way more ancient and deeper. Probably some sort of childhood trauma. Believe me, please, I'm not being nosy. I don't care how many people you killed in wars. Wars happen, they are terrible, but you are not responsible. I only want to help you because I feel like those memories poison you."  
The Doctor sighed and leant on his chair. Closing his eyes, he almost whispered.  
"I was still a little boy when I first killed."  
Bill shivered. She instantly regreted asking, but it was too late now. Child killers were one of the stuff she couldn't handle.  
"It's really a terrible story" the Doctor said "and I'm already sorry for telling you. You're the first person ever I tell. But you're right, it's making me sick."  
Bill realised with horror a tear was smearing in the corner of his eyes.  
"Gallifrey is a paradox, one of the most advanced technology in the universe, but so many barbarian custom. Compared to you, humans of this century, I can't believe how primitive we could be. Outside of the Capitol it's merely middle age. Anyway, so much violence at such a young age."  
he was crying now.  
"The boy's name was Torvic and he was a basic public school bully. Except it was a Gallifreyan level of bullying. I was a troublesome boy, I can't deny, but Missy was such a shy, fragile little creature. She was unable to defend herself and he was making her life a misery. Once he went too far and tried to drown her."  
Bill gasped in horror. She though she knew everything about bullying, but this was turning her stomach out.  
"I killed him. I killed him out of rage. How could he have done so much harm to such an innocent being. Her eyes were so wide and blue, exactly how you know them right now. She was everything to me and I could have killed him of cold blood, I know it."  
"I'm sorry" Bill said, unable to think of something else, less dull and impersonal to say.  
"Don't be. What I told you is nothing, almost the routine at the Academy to be honest. Except the murder. Because I might have been young, and in a self defence position, it was still a cold, deliberate murder. At this moment the Death saw a champion in me."  
"The Death ?"  
"Yes, Death herself. She's an Eternal, sort of Gallifreyan gods. Of course, there's an actual explanation behind their existence, but whatever. She was so beautiful, a dark and elegant lady. She asked me to follow her, she promised me a glorious future, away from this hellhole of a miserable little red planet. But I got scared and I..."  
The Doctor's voice broke.  
"I can't remember what happened next, but from what I've heard and what I've read about Eternals, I gave someone else as a sacrifice to save my own soul. You know what it means, Bill."  
Bill gasped once again, amazed how she could feel even more nauseous.  
"You gave her to Death itself. You gave your best friend, the shy, innocent little girl you promised to protect as a scape goat."  
She immediately regretted her words, of course, but as she was going to apologise, the Doctor spoke.  
"Thanks for your honesty. What I did is horrible and I don't deserve any excuse. Missy was already fragile due to a natural mental health issue. Her mind was pretty weak, and she almost didn't survive to the traditional selection ceremony."  
"I really don't want to know what it is" Bill sighed.  
"It's a way to test future Time Lord elite and chose the strongest. Many children went mad and died, many just ran away. What I did. Missy survived, but it left her weakened. Eight years, Bill. In Time Lord years, it's just babies. After her time with Death, she wasn't the same anymore. She became the monster you know. I wish you could see her before, with her innocent smile and shining blue eyes."  
Bill was crying too, now. She felt cold and numb, and before knowing what she was doing, she was hugging the Doctor.  
"It's alright. You were a child and you were scared. No child should be left on his own, submitted to twisted tests as an infant, brought up in some boarding school with no supervision. The way you describe your home planet, I just see barbarians. Space barbarians with the evolution of cave men. But what's important now is Missy. She has done terrible things and it's her fault, not yours. She was as responsible for her choices than you were. But she's alright, now. She's safe, and as far as I can say, happy and healthy. She might not have those wide innocent blue eyes, but she looks at you with such a deep admiration. She loves you, It's the first thing I noticed on this day, down in your Vault. She's not a ghost from the past, like this Torvic boy. She's with us right now. Go down and talk to her. I'm sure you never did, you never apologised."  
"I never talked about it with anyone, and certainly not with her. It' so old, I had managed to forget. I'm sure she had forgotten too, before this incident in the pool. By the way, thank you so much for the risks you took for her."  
"You're welcome. I guess it's an instinct. Letting her die won't bring any of her victims back anyway. She's precious to you, I can tell she makes you happy, and just for that she deserves to live. Nardole seems to have a soft spot for her too. I'm sure is currently down there, making her tea and asking her what kind of extravagant alien treats she wants with it."  
The Doctor smiled at the idea.  
"You're right, we're both spoiling her. I guess she's family. Thanks again."  
"Nah" Bill said with a smile. "It's normal. You're family too me and I'll always be there to listen to you if you need."  
The Doctor smiled and headed to the Vault, a bag of gifts from their latest trip in hands.


End file.
